|
[22 May 2006|10:14pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
KoRn - Coming Undone |
] |
I don't know who I am or what I want to be... My Life has fallin apart and peices are all over the place. I know what pieces I want to put in for the most part but there is still half the puzzle missing and people keep stealing some of the Pieces I want...
I want to move out : I can do that in Three months with one of my Only friends (Seeing how I only talk to a few of them anymore. Mostly because they don't talk to me even after i try [ Sorry Jeremy I know I have like totaly not talk to you... But yeah at the time I feult like shit and just didn't want anyone to know] )
I want to Move to Vernon : In about 2 years I can do that!
I want to have a Job : Got one! And the best thing is if I work hard i can even go to Vernon with the Job.
I want to meet Mia : So far this one is looking a little hard but maybe in a year I can. I'll just have to go to her and stay at a Hotel.
I want to date Mia : This maybe a little harder... She is dating someone right now and yeah... they just started to date...
There is so much more i want to do but it's hard when the few things I already listed are making a bit of Problems... But I have also let a lot of the past stay in the past and also As Jeremy once said "A friendship is like a Plant that both friends have to water. (One friend would have only half of what the plant needs to live and the other would have the rest) If one friend doesn't water the plant then it's going to die even if the other friend keeps watering it." And A lot of my friends stopped watering them and i kept watering them... Now i have stopped too... I just stopped caring.
So now you don't have to worry about Robert! He is healing for all his scars. And if you want my cell number I'll Post it in a second message only for my friends... Call me... Text me... don't... I don't care one bit.
|
|
| Good News turing into a Pain in the ass! |
[03 May 2006|11:10pm] |
I am so Pissed off right now! I wasn't going to post here until tomorrow and I was also going to e-amil everyone but I am mad right now.
I was getting my GST and my Mom said I'm getting $100 of it and then 50% of what you have left. Later i remembered she took 430 from me back before. How did that work? I have given my Mom $15 and then $20. I needed the $20. You know for that CD that still hasn't come! I also had $3 from the Taxes. So I spent $12 on Movies. I gave the $15 to my Mom and she was going to talk what she owed me, $35, and add that. So that next time I only owed her $50 this time (There was also no talk about giving her Money this time until a bit later.) So When i was getting my GST she said "I want $100 because of the last and 50% of this one" So i tryed to explain to her about what had happined before. And each time she was like "I don't want to talk about this!" or "Do what you think is right!" So earlyer I handed her $100 and she coughted it and was like "This is light" ($50 fucking dollors and she is calling it light!)
I looked at her and went "Yeah!"
Her: "Where is the rest?" (meaning the $50)
Me: "I wanted to talk to you about that"
Her: "What is there to talk about?"
(Remember this isn't word for word just as close as i can get it)
Me: "You took $30 from me before"
Her: "I don't want to talk about this!!"
Me: "But i do... "
Her: "..."
So i went upstairs.
A bit ago I went to get a Drink (Had to fucking my a Jug yet again! Three in a row i believe!)
When I was coming out of the kitchen and she asked me for the $50 so then I explained it, yet again to her. She again tryed cutting me off and saying whatever. And even thought she owed me money and was getting mad at me for that. Bruce then says "Just give her the fucking $50!"
all i could think about was "Why do you can buy more pot!?"
So then after a Bit my Mom pulled the card she loves to play "I am talking care of you and you wont even give me the $50!" Then this is what pissed me off the most! "I should get all your fucking Pay Check! Your leaving under my roof!"
So then I screamed down at her (Because I was up stairs) "Yeah sure take it all! Then I can't buy shit I need for work and then i wont talk the fucking JOB!"
By the Way I am about 98% sure I am a Service Assisstant at Denny's. I have to go there tomorrow at 8:30pm and do Paper work. I was going to tell you all tomorrow after I got the shirt and had everything on paper.
I am just so pissed off! She is going to take so much away from me in my paycheck! I think I'll look at the bills and shit and maybe pay rent and then take a fee because of the gas being in my name and yeah! Then when they bitch at me I'll tell them to go fuck themselfs because i pay rent now and that meants i have part of a say in the fucking house! I want to move out right away but I don't want to be an ass hole. Maybe I'll work like a few months or a year and talk to them about quiting then or maybe if I am lucky moving to Vernon if they have a Denny's. I know that Bryant already said if I pay 1/3 of the bills i have a place. And i bet his rent is lower! Also if i have to I'll pay for my Moms gas bill and phone bill and then get my name off the bills! Then I can work on getting my Credit up... maybe getting a Visa and buying shit with that and then paying it off. Yeah! I like that idea!
|
|
| Again... The Hell? |
[25 Apr 2006|06:48pm] |
So I'll start this off with good news. I went Job hunting today. I went to Block Buster then EB games and then Great white. Tomorrow or the next day I am going to Famous Players, Tim Hortians, and Super Store.
So here is where is gets Bad. So I am cooking dinner because i was told to. And i hear Bruce and my Mom talking but I don't know what they are saying. Then I hear my name. My Mom is saying how she is pissed off that me and Bruce keep demanding things. in my head i was like "What!?" I wanted to hear what she was talking about. He wanted Smokes. So I am like "Okay... What did i do thats as bad as him wanting smokes" again in my head. So then she finaly says what I wanted. Do you know what it was? LUNCH!
I have more but I am lazy.
|
|
| Here is a question... |
[22 Apr 2006|09:27pm] |
I need to know what you guys think of this.
Yesterday I get woken up at 8am because Bruce told Sam to. After that I tryed to go to sleep. When I did get up I went Downtown to my Mom's work and she was all confused on why I was down there yet the night before she wanted me to go down there to phone the GST place to see when I get my money. Finaly she figures that out and I find out when i get my Money. She tells me she is talking 50% of it plus $100 because I never gave her the $100 last time. (Taxes). So then I get home and Bruce gets mad at me because I was woken up at 8am to be ready for the Gas people to come because we were getting gas back. So I looked at him and said "Have they came yet?" And he said "No" And i then went "Then!" And went up stairs. Later on guess who finaly shows up? GAS! and was i called down stairs to deal with it? Nope!
So then Today My Mom asked me to go to Timmys and I said I really didn't want to and then she said then why not Mc.D. I was happy with that idea because Misty was doing the Lunch Shift. So I had one of those Copuons. Sam wanted a Crispy Chicken and Mom wanted a Big Mac and I wanted the Mc.Deal. When i got there i saw Misty <3. And i was also told Crispy Chickens aren't part of the deal. So I got Same a Mc.Chicken. When I got home Sam was mad at me for it. But i was more mad at them. I walk in the door and they are smoking Pot. Pisses me off. I am the outcast in the house because i don't smoke weed. So Stupid.
So just a bit ago I went down there and asked what was happining for Dinner. My Mom goes "We wonted Wendy's but we don't have the Money so we are going to think of something else." me being nice I said "I have money you can barrow." Mom went right away "How do you have money!"
"Ummm For my CD I still haven't got!"
She then said something, can't remember then they said I had to go order. The Last 4 times I have ordered they have got mad or the company didn't like me phoing from a Pay Phone. "Where is Bruce?"
"He went to phone [Drug dealers name]"
So I looked at Sam and went "She can phone"
Sam turns on the Display and goes "Mom isn't going to let me out at this time"
Then we got into a little fight about me going to Mc.D or Panago again. I want to go to the Payphone and get Sam to phone but her feet and back hurt from sitting on her ass all day and going on the bus to Zellars with my Mom and taking a Cab home.
Alana said to me on MSN today that she is afraid of me getting a Job because 50% of all my Pay checks is probley going to them. And the Sad thing is... that it is probley true...
|
|
| Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! |
[20 Apr 2006|10:52pm] |
I am getting sick of this life I have.
I have been getting to know Misty, the Mc.D girl. I am still not sure if i love her or like her or like her a lot. But I told this one girl this and she started to get upset because she really likes me but for the last week she has barly talked to me and stuff and I really like her but she doesn't want to date me because she doesn't live anywhere near me, Seattle.
I can't do anything right... I should really be sent to hell. Atleast there I would know what the fuck i needed to do. Kill or be killed. But here any fucking way I hurt someone unless the cards fall just perfect and I date Misty and in about 2 years she leaves me.
*sigh*
And like I want to get a fucking Job but I need a Phone and hot water and I am not sire if I should get a hair cut or what. I also am starting to feel like shit because all my friends have problems and I'm not there for them because my Problems are coming at me all at once and my Mom wants to get Gas back but that is stupid because they want $130ish to give it back plus $400 almost right up front goes on our bill and like then they want that money and we can't give them that money so then we have fights with them again.
I want to fight... or have a punching bag or fucking have the power to talk to people without them saying "I don't know" Thats starting to piss me off. Or people thinking that they wont do good but really they are smarter then me. Fuck people I know i have been slacking. Maybe I still wouldn't have a job right now or maybe I would. But fuck! You people comeplain that you have crappy Jobs or no jobs yet some of you think i should get one. You all have more skills then i do and Probley nicer to people and shit then I am. You know what! Once i get Gas back I am going to force my self over to someones house, make Resumes, then I am going to force someone else to let me use their phone number and I am going out there and getting a Job. But here is where I am going to prove something to you. I am going to get a good Job. When I get that I'll come back here and say "There! if i can do it You can even faster!" Because it's fucking true! And then I'll move out and then I'll look back at you all and say "See! You can do it all!" As for school maybe I'll go back and finaly get my grade 12! Once i do I'll prove you can do it!
As for the Shit thats going wrong in my life. Thats on hold! You heard me. I am going to Kill off my Problems! I have to do this! If i don't I'll be letting you all down and I can't do that! Not again!
|
|
| Today was another Day |
[19 Apr 2006|09:31pm] |
|
So Today I got up at 8am after going to bed at about 3am. I had to get the Bus downtown at 12:15pm. I left early to maybe see Craig. I just missed the 11:45am Bus so it worked out perfectly. I talked to Craig for about 30 minutes. Then I got on the Bus and went downtown. Then me and Sam took a bus to Shaw Cable to pay them and then walked back to my Moms work. (My sister goes to school downtown). I got to wear Sam's perse* because she wanted to eat something as we walked and she holds it. I threw it over my shoulder. It was fun. I got a lot of weird looks. YaY! Then after that I came home and Amanda was online (Grant's Girlfriend). She was complaining that Grant and her had a fight. Her friend sent her a picture and Grant saw it and was going on about how she was Hotter then Amanda. So I went over there to talk to her to be nice. Yeah I hanged out with her until about 4:25pm. Then I came home and then headed to Mc.D. I was there from about 5ish until after 7:30. The Manager was talking about me to like everyone. When i first got there I bought a Strawberry Sunday. At about 5:30 or 6:30.... I think it was 5:30ish and then I ate it until about 6:30ish. Anyway I bought a Small fry and she made it a Med. Then gave me a free Large Coke. It took me like an hour to drink it. I got full fast. Finaly around 7:30 Misty, thats her name, got off for a break. The Manager rushed her back even tho It was dead. She had a Shake on her break and gave it to me. I then went home even tho it was raining. When I got home i kicked Sam out of my room and then at about 8:30pm she came on MSN. We talked for a bit. She says that she likes me more now because I make her smile. She told me that she wanted to kiss me when she was at work. She wants to talk to me tomorrow but I wont be home for most of the day. Then she wants to talk Friday and I think she works Sat and on Sunday she wants to go to the Pool with me. I think she really wants to Date me. So Thrusday, Friday and whatever I can on Sat. Sunday is going to be the day I think we find out if we want to be friends or work for more. So yeah... More Later...
|
|
| The hell... This is my Point! |
[18 Apr 2006|11:22pm] |
Okay, So we had Dinner at Mc.D again. When we started to head out the door Sam, that was coming with me, said something and I didn't clue one that she was talking to me until about the end when she handed me paper. I'm not sure if I have talked about her to many people but I'll do a bit of it here.
When I was dating Jennifer I met this girl at Mc.D. I wanted to jump over that cover and make out with her... if I was single. She stopped going to the Mc.D I go to all the time.
Now there is this other girl there. This one is less... Umm... I don't want to say hot but basicly yeah. I still like her... just not as much. Anyway I started to talk to her a lot. She was there like everytime I went. I was going to ask her for her E-mail address one day but it got super busy and then I didn't see her again... I guess on Sat Sam went to Mc.D alone and she went to Sam and gave her a letter for me.
It has here number and stuff : Example Below
555-5555
I need to
talk 2
you its
[Name] from
Mc.D's
----
So I went to Craig's and phoned her. She was shocked I phoned. I think she thought it was really noticeable she wanted me and thought I wouldn't want that or something. So at first she was slightly shy. Then she started to get more okay with me and started to ask more questions.
How Old are you?
Are you Single?
Have you had Sex?
And a group of Random questions like... what if this happined or what if that happined. Mostly what if I kissed you stuff. I'm not sure how much I really like her yet. So I am going to Mc.D at 5pm to 7pm tomorrow Because she works from 4-8. And I'll hang out with her a bit. And then she wants to go to the Pool and hang out there a bit Sunday so I'll do that. I think thats going to be when she makes more of a move. So I may have to tell her to go slow at the start. I am still not sure how much I like her so yeah... Then I had a shower at Craig's. YaY for friends and there hot water!
But yeah... No wonder I am confused with my Life. Random God damn people falling in love with me and then something happins and they stop liking me or I stop liking them... *sigh* I think I am too hot for my own good.
|
|
| My Dreams |
[18 Apr 2006|01:43pm] |
First It started off with me in someones house. There was a lot of people there. I didn't know any of them really. I was just starting to get to know them I guess. Anyway we were doing stuff on a computer and stuff. I'm not sure where it was but either on the computer screen or TV we were watching a movie or Picture slide show of them. Then the dream got cool. One of the pictures had Mika (The Girl from Alberta that was like the female me that went offline and never came back). I pointed to her and said something and then soon after that pulled one of the people out. It was a girl. I looked at her and said "Who was that girl". I think she thought I was one of those guys that Sees a girl and wants to be with her to get sex or something so she said nevermind and started to walk away. I went No, I know her. And then said something else and she said "Why didn't you say that before" We went down stairs and I started to tell her things about Mika like her age and where she worked and stuff. The Girl then started to find paper. Her boyfriend was near by but didn't say anything until she was writing Mika's Phone number down. He told her to remember the area code and said something about a 7. I can't really remember the number sadly. But it did give me an idea. About then the dream ended and the idea came to me. Ashley, Bryant's girlfriend talked to Mika online too. Mika went to game sites a lot. So I should ask her if she goes on there anymore. See if maybe Mika was fully kicked off net or what.
Second Dream, The Second dream was like a story. I was killing people and running after my online friend. It was weird because it was like we were on a forum typing this out and it was coming true. And then at one point she wrote a lot so i have to go back and post what I did before all what she did and it was going backwards like in rewind. It was pretty cool.
Third Dream, I can't remember this one all that great... I think it started off in a Class room and they started to ask some really weird questions like thing about monsters that aren't real and stuff like that. I think Danni-Lynn was there but out of the class I was the only one answering. I think then class was over and we all went to diffrent classes and I went to another class with two people that didn't have a class that time. I am not sure how it all happined but then we were in a race and yeah then it changed again to where we were using monsters to race and then I woke up... It was weird.
|
|
| Being hard on my self. |
[17 Apr 2006|06:24pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Westside Connection - Bow Down |
] |
I have been noticing that I have been really hard on my self. I blame myself for a lot of things that really aren't my fault but the people that are for blame are no where to be seen.
For Example the whole Jennifer thing. I blame myself a lot more then I should. I have this feeling after that happined that maybe it's me. So many people I talk to online love to tease me. Like... There is so much happining in my life at once that I am not sure what is going on.
I think most of all I just have to figure out why so much is happining to me. I have been told by so many people that I am a sweet and Nice caring guy and yet girls push me away.
And to one of my friends that asked me a bit back why do I need a girlfriend but they shouldn't worry about having a boyfriend. If girls would stop hitting on me and I still stay single maybe i would stop caring but because they do hit on me they give me that hope that something may happin then later nothing happins and then a New girl does it and so on and so on.
As far as girls go tho I have pushed all of them away but one. Sadly she isn't even 18 yet. So I'm not going after her hard. She says she likes me and I like her but we are going to wait. If she finds someone before then She is going to date them and same with me.
She texted me the other day. She has a cell phone and messages me with that to my MSN. Anyway she messaged me for a bit and then went to sleep. The next morning she totaly didn't remember texting me.
Craig asked me to go to the Mall with him. I was happy because I could get my cd... Nope... They didn't have it in so i couldn't waste any money. Oh yeah and anyone that has extra money (Don't anyone does) But you should my My Marvel movies or Happy Madison Movies.
Marvel Movies: (DvD Please)
The Punisher
Spider-man
Spider-Man 2
Fantasic Four
Elektra
The Incredible Hulk
X-Men
Happy Madison: (DvD Please)
The Longest Yard
Big Daddy
Little Nicky
Happy Gilmore
Billy Madison
and so on.
I have to go over to Craig and Pauls or Alanas one day souly to do my Resumes. I really need hot water so I can have a hot shower.
I think i am done for now.
|
|
| Good Friday my ass |
[14 Apr 2006|05:07pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Seether - Because of Me |
] |
So I woke up and cleaned my room. No one was really on MSN when I started.
Grace, Alana and Janelle all came on and I talked to all of them.
Nothing all that great. I told Grace that I respect her and all Mc.D girls/people.
I had made a new nexopia account yesterday night. HellsPhoenix . I felt fitting. I messaged Jennifer to tell her to block me and her stupid ugly ass boyfriend went on her account. I fucking hate that ugly bastard!
I then talked to Alana about maybe going to the mall. She was all for it then randomly went offline and I then messaged Craig to get him to phone her and then she went back online and said she was tired and lazy.
So then I went to Save-on-Foods with Sam... not sure why. It kind of sucked. She was making stupid choises and stuff. But whatever. I never did go to the mall. I have to talk to somepeople. Sam wants me to go to the gym and then the mall but if I still want to go to Jeremy's I have to go with Sam in the morning... so we'll see.
Other then that I don't have much to say but for $50 on fucking one dinner is stupid! It was less because Tolet paper was $7 and we got pop (2 cases) for $7. But yeah... what the hell!
|
|
| Love? |
[14 Apr 2006|01:11pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Aqua - Candyman |
] |
Love....?
What is love?
Love means diffrent things... but what?
Love is the feeling of carring.
You can love a friend
You can love your Family
You can love a Pet
The love for all this people and things tho doesn't even come close to the love for a boy or girl you want to spend your whole life with.
I Love my friends and because of that I would die for them. I would walk to see them if they needed me and i would stay up to 6am to talk to them about their problems.
I love my Family the same. Because no matter how much i hated them I would still be there for them.
But love for someone you want to spend your life with is a diffrent story. I would do anything for them. I would do whatever they asked. I would never leave them.
Through out my life i have found a few girls I have wanted to date and be with forever.
Girl ..1 : She was one of my first friends that was a girl. She was my third girlfriend and even tho I still care deeply about her we have gone our diffrent ways. Mostly her choise then mine.
Girl ..2 : She was this goth like girl that always had a boyfriend... and it wasn't me.
Girl ..3 : I didn't know her long but I felt great around her. She thought I loved her too much then I should have and she left me after only a month of us dating.
Girl ..4 : I never got to date her. She lived to far away. And then she found someone else.
Girl ..5 : She was this cute girl I had a thing for a bit but she just didn't want me and the guy she wanted would always be near when we hanged out.
Girl ..6 : She was what i thought was my perfect girl. I never thought of another girl other then her. She made me so happy and when she left me she said she still wanted to be my friend and still wanted to talk to me. Soon I found out that was all lies. She had found a guy on a site and may have even cheated on me. My heart still isn't healed from that event that happined Jan 22/06 almost 2 weeks before our 1 year. Feb 7th.
Girl ..7 : We met online and she was a female me. It was right before my One year when I met her. But then she went offline on Feb 4th and has never came back.
I then dated this girl i liked but didn't love. That would be a rebond girl. It didn't work out between us.
Girl ..8 : This girl is a bit younger then me. But I really like her. She is starting to make me sad a lot.
A lot of people say they love me but they don't love me enough or they would be messaging me when I can on or they came on. They would want to talk to me all the time. They would try to start a new topic or ask me questions. They would want to know everything about me or atleast been trying. They wouldn't care that I live hours away from her or mintues away from her. She wouldn't care about my age.
I'm not blaming anyone for my shitty luck with girls. I am strong willed i know this. And i love with my whole heart. I am poor and I am job less.
I just needed to get that off my chest..... I have given up looking for miss right and if she doesn't find me before I turn 30 I will never want love again.
Love may not be very important and people say it makes more problems then it helps but I have no real dreams. And I want to make dreams but I don't want to spend 3 years trying to move to Vernon and find out that this girl I love so much wants me to move somewhere else.
I know that it's three years away but I need to know that I'm even loved enough by you to even save the money to move to you if you want me to...
Show the people you love that you Really Love them! Message them or Drop a Comment to the one person you love the most!
Tell them you Love them before it's too late.
|
|
| Good News and Bad |
[12 Apr 2006|11:52pm] |
I Broek up with Janelle today. It wasn't as easy as I would have thought. Even tho she knew we would never work out she really liked me.
I Just couldn't take being in a doomed thing like that. I am glad I did it know...
Not sure what I want anymore. I want someone to love me as much as I love them but thats not going to happin and besides.. I'm too much of a fuck up for it to happin. And don't say i'm not. I have fucked up on everything but for like three things in my whole life and it's just a matter of time before I fuck them up. But I'm okay with that.
So today I went to Alana's and had a shower and played Battle Front 2. That was my Day right there.
Oh so I had a Hot Rod Sausage snack thing and I bite into it and it broke into smaller pieces. It was old and hard. Lucky I didn't eat and of it and dropped it in small pieces on the ground for the crows. then it rained so it may be softer now for them.
Oh... I am also thinking of talking to Paul about him doing my pictures maybe... not sure if I want to waste his time with me or not. I am done for now!
|
|
| Stupid People hehehe |
[08 Apr 2006|11:19pm] |
Okay so My girlfriend was talking to me on MSN and told me this guy blocked her and so on and she was sad so i said I'd talk to him for her.
The Story: Atleast what I understand of it.
Janelle likes to pretend to be a gay guy. It's her Role play character and she like loves him. This Girl, not sure why, but was pretending to be a Gay guy too.
Janelle cybers a lot with her gay guy named Avie.
Anyway the girl asked her boyfriend to join in and pretend he was another gay guy dating her. So far I understand that but here is where it gets weird.
Today I believe Janelle was pretending to eat Yogurt and the girl took the yogurt and put it down her pants. Remember who they are all pretending to be.
Now Janelle says she never knew the two people were a guy and girl and not to guys. The Guy says he knew Janelle was a girl.
Now both sides say that This yogurt thing happined. But the guy says his girlfriend asked him to lick it off but Janelle says that is she did she most have read it wrong. So far all good in my eyes. Janelle licked the yogurt up and then the guy got all mad. Like for real. But this confuses me. He told me that Janelle had cybered with his girlfriend before and he got really mad but never told Janelle this. Janelle says that she did cyber one more time before this with her but never went as hardcore as he says.
It goes on from here. He like freaked out on his girlfriend over this. And he understands it's role playing but has this Idea that Role playing Cyber and real cyber are like the 100% full thing.
It gets even worse after this. He was saying how he wanted to forget all this happined and stuff like this but wouldn't talk to Janelle ever again.
And I tryed to explain that really if he couldn't forgive her even a bit then he would never fully forget this because he would always hate her for something that he shouldn't. Like this whole problem started over a Lie and more got added. If they didn't lie then this would have never happined. But he wouldn't move from the mind set he was on.
But oh well. It was weird at the end. He was totaly reading only the evil in my messages and not the good at all.
But whatever. I'm Just sad that janelle lost a friend over something as stupid as this but she said she didn't care half way through me talking to him.
Yeah... stupid people. Tell me what you all think if you want.
EDIT: I'm about to be Stupid... Hold On..... I so went there!
( Read more... )
|
|
| Sick... |
[08 Apr 2006|05:56pm] |
I'm Sick. It started as a Throat thing. Then the next day was a Sore Throat and Cough. And now it is a Cough and nose thing. Fucking Sucks. I wish i had someone to hug me and help me sleep. If i did i wouldn't be online at all. I would be in bed with them hoping i didn't make them sick and if i did i would be over at there house the whole next week holding them and feeding them Chicken soup or whatever they would want.
But this isn't my Life... So i just sit on my computer and slowly die until i get better.
|
|
| Three days! |
[06 Apr 2006|06:01pm] |
Tuesday:
I went a returned Get Rich or Die trying and I saw Ashley-Page.
She asked me to walk with her so I did. We went back to her house and I went inside and we talked. She was going out with her boyfriend and one of each of there friends. So yeah. I found out that her boyfriends friend dated Alycia. I didn't find that out until we all left. I aslo found out Grace is dating Kim's brother. I never know that. It was cool.
Yesterday:
I got up at 7:56am but thought it was 1:56pm.
I waited a bit and yeah. Found out it was 8. I didn't feel all that great so i waited in bed until about 8:30-9:00 and started to do things. I had a shower and had some Corn Pops. Then i walked to Jeremy's. I went the wrong way and yeah. It took me about 1:30 hours to get there but I went the wrong way and got confused by numbers that I wasn't at his house until after 12. He had to come and get my at this store because i gave up. I was heading towards his house too until I said forget it and went to the store.
When we got there I played Kingdom Hearts 2. It has a 4 hour intro!!!
We then watched Howl's Moving Castle. I liked it a lot. I think then i forced him to play Kingdom Hearts 2 so that I could watch. He then went on His computer and talked to people real fast to get them to leave him alone as i played some Random game he put in.
He was talking about me on MSN. I looked at his screen a few times after he told me that. Only read small parts but nothing i fully understood. We then went to sleep. I went to the bathroom and then went back to the bed aka Living room and I started to get upset. Not sure why I did so Randomly. Jeremy came in and I talked about everything.
I have alot of Peoples I think. Mostly tho I have come to believe a lot of them have to do with a lot of tiny problems. Like friends and girls and love and stuff.
So we talked about that. He thinks that maybe me and him have strong souls that like talking to one another. Because he thought something was wrong before. It could explain why I just broke down a bit.
I talked about ever girl i knew almost.
I talked about stuff that happined a long time ago with me and Danni-Lynn. And stuff. I didn't say anything mean about her just how she has said somestuff to help me out but it gives me, like every other girl, a false hope. But thats also something else I would like to say. Danni, I know your trying to help me out and everything. It's not all your fault i know that but it's just hard to pull away the little things and move on when everyone is doing that and no thinks that they are and that even if they do they don't say sorry and to me that just makes me feel like they don't really care about me and that adds more to the problem.
After my long talk with Jeremy he asked me if I believe... I was so confused. Then He talked about a card reading and I was like "Oh.. Okay. I can do that." I like when people read my... whatever... mostly because it so cool to see what happins and also it's so personal and thats always cool.
So he asked what was my past full of and it was a card dealing with Pain... I think... Something like that... Second was about now and it was a Card about talking something old and re-newing it. The Third was about my Future and it was umm... something about something... I can't fully remember but it meant I would work on something... yeah...
This is how i think of it:
Past: All the problems I have had.
Now: I would take something like my Writing and start to do it again.
Future: I will make something out of my Storys.
He then did three more about my Body, Mind and soul.
My Body was a bad card. My Mind was a slightly good but really open card. And my Soul was something but he said was good.
I Throat hurts tho and he said that would explain the card about Body.
Today:
I got up and went back to Bed so many times. But I finaly got up and stayed up. I was going to walk Jeremy up but didn't. At about 1:24pm I said in my head slightly. "If Jeremy is right about our Soul's then he'll get up before 1:30." Oddly he did.
After eating a bit I went home. I Barrowed his Final Fantasy Unlimited Dvd. So I have to hang out with him again to give it back. *smiles*
I went to a store near his place. They had no Coke. I guess they either don't get a stock in yet or the Collage Heights school went over and took them all. I then got onto a bus and it was the wrong bus. So I got on the other bus and had to wait.
Off Topic:
I was thinking at the bus stop. I wonder if most of my Problems were before Jennifer broke up with me and her love just provented me from seeing that or if it was all after.
I do know tho that it really hurts me that she wont talk to me. I want to know so much about her. I want to know if she is doing good in school. If she watchies Anime with her boyfriend and so on. But I'll never get to ask her.
Anyway I think I should read what has happined for the last few days. Thats all for now!
|
|
| Today is my Birthday... Donkey Sneakers! |
[03 Apr 2006|08:59pm] |
Anyway, Alana came over today and We hanged out and stuff. Nothing all the great but it was still fun none the less.
Last night I was on mysapce (yeah i have an account but I'm too lazy to tell people... Don't like it all that much) I put a comment in this girls house. I know her off elftown. Anyway I told her boyfriend i was going to tell her i loved her as a friend a lot because i do. And he got all pissed off because of the way i said it but she thought it was funny. So he added me on MSN so we can talk. I'm being niceish to him because i don't want to have problems for her.
But yeah... It was kind of funny because he was trying to be all buddy buddy but I just went with it.
Other then that I don't think i have much to say. When with my message the other day not much has changed but I never thought it would change. Come on. *laughs* I'm done this message! *runs away*
|
|
| Not sure a good name for this one. |
[03 Apr 2006|02:27am] |
So yesterday I had a long talk on MSN to Danni-Lynn about me and her. I feel a little bad. I know it's not fully her fault for what had happined. But in a way it is. All my friends but for two have atleast some small part to play in this but I'm better now.
Danni-Lynn I am partly sorry. I am sorry I blamed you for maybe a bit more then I should have. But that is it.
So Today I guess Danni-Lynn and her friend were talking and she brought me up and gave him the link to what had ahppined. I don't care really. It's on Fucking live journal *Laughs* I don't lock anything. *laughs* So i guess he got my e-mail address from her and added me. A Little weird when he first added me. At first I saw the address and the end of it and went "Okay.. someone from PG" then i saw the name and went "Shit!" I totaly didn't think he was going to say what he said. I totaly was ready to get bitched out but it wasn't like that. He started to be really... Sorry for saying this word this way... but Gay! But yeah... Hiopefully I got my point across of being Totaly Straight. He got his point across that if I ever wanted to be with a guy he wanted to be that guy *laughs*
So he thinks he knows what the problem is and I wouldn't tell him and I wont say if he is right or not.
Anyway he wants to hang out Wed. I think it's going to be a little weird and all but I said I would. He want to rent Kingdom Hearts 2 and watch a Anime. I'm going to be shocked if he can get Kingdom Hearts 2 tho. He said Kingdom hearts a few times. I hope he knows I wrapped number one. I may walk there. He was talking about be staying the night. I probley wont do that. Mostly because I barely know him and I'm already going to his place.
Yeah... I hated him a long time ago. I never even knew him and when I met him if it comes up all explain my self. I don't hate him anymore... I don't even think I really hated him back then. I just... yeah... he'll understand what i mean.
So I'm also going to try and get this Mc.D girls phone number or E-mail address and hopefully find my other Mc.D girl. I miss her. She was hot. If I wasn't dating Jennifer at the time I would have made out with her.
Alana is coming over tomorrow. Hopefully I can get a bit miore of my stories done!
Anyway I'm going to sleep!
|
|
| How Fucking Great! |
[01 Apr 2006|01:04pm] |
We have no Gas. We didn't have gas Yesterday. So No Heat. Gas is trying to bend us all over and Fuck us in the ass! They keep saying we haven't paid when we have.
Telus wants money too and so does Cable. I hate having Gast and the Phone in my name. And I hate it even more that I don't get told what is happining.
And it pisses me off when Mom is carrying and then the next day or few hours a bitch to me. I would love it a lot more is she was one or the other.
And I'm having problems with Janelle. Like big problems. We probley wont stay together much longer.
I love my Life!
|
|
| Fuck it! |
[01 Apr 2006|02:04am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 FUCK YOU! |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
KoRn - Twisted Transistor |
] |
I have came up with this idea and Oddly this feels right. Fuck my happiness! I'm sick of try. People saying they love you or there your friends and then back out on you or don't fucking come online to say hi. Fuck it. I'm Sick of trying to help people. I'm Sick of trying to still be peoples friends. I try and try and Always make up reasons why they say no. Like They have lifes. They have other friends! You know what I am part of your life too! I am your friend too! Think about when was the last time we hanged out! And then the time before that! Think of when was the last time you phoned me! Last time you started to talk to me on MSN! Then think about when i have tryed to come over, talk to you on MSN or Phoned you! Will Fuck you! I'm not phoning you anymore, I'm not talking to you first on MSN and I'm not going over to your house to try and hang out. Now before you pick up that phone, Message me, come over to my house or leave a Comment think of this. Are you doing this because I have finaly said something and you feel like Dirty or are you doing it because you really want to hang out. I bet you that it's going to be you Feel like dirty. Only Two of my Friends Do those things. TWO! I have Four Friends, from what i have been told, in town. Two friends that moved away, and Ten internet friends and 2 do any of that shit!
The other 14 can go fuck them selfs! And if i haven't messaged you, phoned you or tryed to come over think what was the last few times i tryed happined because Three of you don't talk to me on MSN even when i do message you.
"Oh I'm only cheacking my E-mails"
"Oh I'm going to make dinner"
"Oh I don't feel like talking right now!"
If your about to make dinner then don't sign On MSN!
If your checking your e-mails do what i do. Appear offline!
If you don't feel like talking then why are you on MSN!? Why? Because you want to talk to someone just not fucking me! Say that!
Also i would like to quickly say, some of you may say "What did I do.. I didn't mean to be rude." And for a small few your right but your not really my friend. We never hanged out. And because I met you in person i think of you as a offline person even if you moved away. So for that few Your not in this so don't think i hate you.
But for the Ones I am talking to :
Now all of you can have a nice Fucking Day! Because you have heard the Final Words Of Robbie!
|
|
| Disney Land |
[28 Mar 2006|01:12pm] |
So Yesterday Alana came over. She had been gone for about 3 weeks. She came with gifts for me. Her and her family Love me.
So she gave me a Pencil with Pengins on it. Then a Key chain with a Stuffed Goofy on it. Then a bag of Chip & Dale : Snack Company - Mickey shaped Pretzels. Then a Disney Land Cup. And a Darth Vader. The Darth Vader just stands there but he is still cool.. wait... woooooo! He was made in China. *laughs* Then she still had this large bag so she tells me to close my eyes and she pulls it out and I open them and... It's a giant ass Blastoise. Yeah so I'm pretty happy about that.
I Think thats all for now.
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
crushtheworld's journal